Prince Charles steps down as royal

Prince Charles has today abdicated from his position as King-in-Waiting following revelations that he sought to influence Government decisions

Speaking from outside Buckingham Palace and now known simply as Chas Windsor, the former royal explained “It’s the only decent thing to do really, I’ve overplayed my card and been caught trying to act out a feudal role. It’s 2014 not 1066. Having said that, if I’m not going to be able to boss politicians around like my own servants, then I can’t see the point in being King. Of course, there’s more to it than that, I’ve had a lot of criticism from former Smiths front man Morrissey. And If I haven’t got Morrissey’s blessing then I just don’t want to do it.”

Whilst it is thought that the former Prince may have to give up his trust fund, he will be allowed to keep the money he’s made from selling expensive sausages and looks likely to use the funds to set himself up as a homeopath.

One loyal subject told us “I’ll certainly miss fawning to his eminent regalness, but hey ho there’s shitloads of other royals I can doff my cap to. And I’ll certainly come to him should I wish to pay an inordinate amount of money for a nonsensical pretend cure for a serious illness instead of seeing a real Doctor.”

Pro-Royals need not worry as his son William is set to take over as Prince Charles. Prime Minister David Cameron has congratulated him on his promotion. “I look  forward to bowing down to his every whim.” he explained.