Children with beards exposed as sham charity

children with the beards

A highly organised criminal dwarf gang are being hunted as prime suspects as the entire £32 million proceeds from last year’s Children in Need were mistakenly awarded to sham charity “Children with beards” The charities promotional leaflet says “Many of these children have had excessive facial hair since the age of 3.  As a result […]

Coca Cola to sue Church over ownership of Christmas

coca cola christmas

A spokesman for Coca Cola has confirmed that the company’s lawyers have written to church leaders asking them to cease and desist from hijacking Christmas day for their own religious ends. “It’s about time these bible thumpers stopped hijacking our special day.It’s all very nice this away in a manger business but it’s hardly in […]

Neil Fox “not even a real fox”

neil fox

DJ Neil Fox lied, misled and used his influential position to convince unsuspecting fans that he had a snout, sharp teeth, orange fur and a bushy tail a court heard today. Mr Fox, who uses the nicknames Dr Fox and Foxy became well known for presenting the chart show on Capital Radio where he would […]

Snoop Dogg denies any involvement in the Snoopers charter

snoopers charter

Rapper Snoop Dogg has denied any involvement at all in the Government’s proposed Snoopers charter. Angrily addressing a hastily arranged press conference, Mr Dogg was clearly buckling under the scrutiny when he said “For the Iast time I have not got a damn ting ta do wit dis mothafuckas” One onlooker said “Well he would […]

Phil Collins announces his retirement

phil collins

Former Genesis front man Phil Collins has disappointed the music world today at news that he is finally to hang up his voice box and call an end to an illustrious career that spanned 1970 to 2011 followed by a revival yesterday and today. Understood to be leaving the business to devote more time to […]

Star Wars in ‘only a film’ shocker


The makers of star Wars have gone on record today to dispel and denounce rumours that their new release is only a film and a film for children for that matter. A spokesman for the Walt Disney Company said rumours that the whole thing was just a film, that people would come into a cinema […]

Britain First vow to help keep racist night clubs afloat

Britain First clubbing

Members of Britain First have vowed to put their glad rags on, sport their dancing shoes and support any West end night clubs that might suffer a loss of business for racist door policies. Leader Paul Golding told us “We hadn’t realised these clubs were operating a racially prejudiced door policy and quite frankly we […]

Sun outrage as Corbyn refuses to vote on X Factor

corbyn xfactor

Popular newspaper The Sun has called for newly appointed Labour Leader Jeremy Corbyn to be strung up by his curlies following revelations that he will not be voting on, discussing or even watching X Factor. Today’s edition of the paper said “One minute he’s refusing to doff his cap to the Queen. Now he’s refusing […]

Chuckle Brothers to cheer up goths

chuckle brothers cheer up goths

Goths throughout Britain who have barely cracked a smile since their invention in the 1980s may finally be able to cheer up a bit and stop sitting woefully in grave yards eating liver, according to a report highlighting plans to entertain them with the Chuckle Brothers. The leaked report details plans to replace forthcoming Sisters […]

SNP demand vote on 1976 Eurovision song contest


Scotland’s First Minister Nicola Sturgeon has described legislation that stops Scottish MPs voting retrospectively on the winning act in the 1976 Eurovision Song Contest as “Unacceptable”. Incensed that the winning song, ‘Save all your kisses for me’ by Brotherhood of Man, was seemingly pushed through without any consultation of Scottish MPs Ms Sturgeon said: “You […]


Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 460 other followers