Queen to appear on next episode of Who Do You Think You Are

queen who do you think you are

The Queen is set to appear as the guest celebrity on the next episode of popular genealogy documentary Who Do You Think You Are, according to BBC sources. A spokesman for the Corporation told us that the Queen, who is also rumoured to be filming an episode of Undercover Boss, wasn’t a big fan of […]

Queen “I was hailing a bus”

queen nazi salute

Her Majesty the Queen has gone on record today to reassure the public that pictures of her and the late Queen Mother performing nazi salutes were in fact merely the family hailing a bus. “Obviously on special occasions we would travel in an ornate horse drawn carriage with a big gold knob on the top […]

Queen urges legal high binge before law changes

queens speech

The Queen has urged all subjects to have a proper binge on legal highs before they are made illegal in her speech today. Speaking on the first day of parliament her majesty said “My Government will ban anything that looks like a drug, sounds like a drug or smells like a drug with the obvious […]

Charles urges didgeridoo therapy on the NHS

prince charles didgeridoo

Prince Charles wrote repeatedly to the then Secretary of state for Health Patricia Hewitt demanding that conventional healthcare on the NHS be replaced immediately with didgeridoo therapy according to a series of private letters that have now been released into the public domain. An excerpt from one such correspondence in 2005 read “Dear Patricia, It’s […]

British public wake up every two hours in empathy with Royal couple

royal baby

The British public have spent the night en masse waking up every two hours or so in empathy with the Royal couple who have spent the first night at home with the Royal baby. Some it’s thought set their own alarms whilst in some areas entire towns relied on former WWII air raid sirens to […]

Blue Peter viewers vote to name new royal baby “Motorbike”

blue peter

Blue Peter viewers have voted to name the  imminent new Royal baby ‘Motorbike’, as the results have come in from one of the most successful nationwide competitions ever run by the show. The show was previously facing tough scrutiny from regulators after a similar competition to name one of the show’s cats ended up in […]

Conservatives to enable the Queen to buy her council house

conservative manifesto

A conservative only Government will enable the Queen to buy some or all of her council houses thus enabling her to finally get her foot on the property ladder rather than slumming it in state owned accommodation. Launching his election manifesto Mr Cameron said that all of Britain deserved the good life. It was just […]

The Queen “If Labour get in I’ll leave the country”

the queen

Her Majesty the Queen has said in no uncertain terms today that she will move abroad if Labour get into power following the forthcoming General Election in May. In a move that will only amplify the despair of the nation and Ed Miliband’s woes she has added her name to a list of potential ex-pats […]

Prince Charles’ letters reveal hatred of short people

prince charles letters

Many of Prince Charles’ letters to the Government reveal a deep routed hatred of short people it has emerged after a ruling passed today by the supreme court means that now anyone can actually read the letters as long as they do so respectfully and promise not to laugh. One letter to the then Prime […]

Prince Charles to rule Britain with a rod of iron

prince charles

Prince Charles will abandon the democratic system the moment he is king and will rule Britain with a rod of iron a bit like Henry VIII or Kim Jong-Un according to palace insiders. Royal correspondent Nicholas Witchell said “He’s been meeting with other kings and Princes over in the middle east, and he’s also been […]


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