Immigration policy to be decided by punch up in Dover

MPs are anxiously awaiting the results of the punch up in Dover today in order to finalise British policy on immigration. One Dover local said “I had previously regarded the far right with some amusement and I was planning to ignore them and get on with my day. Now it’s all going to be decided […]

Middle Classes begin to riot at news of olive oil not being good for you

David Cameron has called an emergency COBRA meeting this morning as news of olive oil not being any better for you than vegetable oil has sparked isolated riots throughout West Hampstead, Richmond and Godalming which look set to spread to other affluent parts of the country. One rioter in Surrey explained “All my life I’ve […]