UKIP to change name to United Kingdom No MP Party (UKNOMP)

UKIP is to change its name to the United Kingdom No MP party or UKNOMP according to leader Paul Nuttall.

Brighton Council to ban wind chimes

Brighton Council is to issue on the spot fines for residents who have wind chimes in their gardens, as part of a crack down on anti-social behaviour.

Elephants listening in on Donald Trump with their huge flappy ears

Elephants have been listening in on Donald Trump with their huge flappy ears and most likely handing the information to Barack Obama, the media or British Intelligence, according to tweets published by Mr Trump earlier this morning.

“Now not the time for independence vote” Theresa May tells America

Theresa May has rejected calls for the USA to hold a referendum regarding independence from Britain today saying “now is not the time.”

Customer fury as Tesco substitute hen’s eggs for dog eggs

A Tesco customer was left fuming after returning home with her click and collect order to find that her usual hens’ eggs had been substituted with dogs eggs.

Trump to keep an open mind about flat earth

The concept of a spherical earth may be misinformation propagated by so called scientists who like the media have a liberal-elitist agenda according to US president Donald Trump.

Richard Madeley urges second EU referendum

A second EU referendum seems far more likely today following an impassioned plea for one by daytime TV personality Richard Madeley.

Hunt “Doctors must be able to fly”

Doctors are to be required to be able to soar through the air like a bird following a new directive from Secretary of State for Health, Jeremy Fucking Hunt

“Corbyn is unelectable” warns actor who played Roland in Grange Hill

Erkan Mustafa who played Roland in early episodes of Grange Hill has today warned that Labour face annihilation under Jeremy Corbyn should Theresa May call a snap election.

Trump to ban immigration from Skull island

President Trump has today signed a new executive order placing a 90-day ban on people from Skull island just in case one of them is a forty-foot high monkey.