Taylor Swift has once again hit the headlines following reports that she has taken a shit or something. Famous for a number of hits including that one that goes doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doooo, der-derr, de-der-derr. Swift has recently bagged the front page for antic such as walking backwards, getting into a car and sitting down on a number of different chairs.
A spokesman for Heat Magazine who had been following the situation explained “Apparently she wasn’t sure whether to take a dump last night before bed or not. She asked her fans on twitter and the general consensus was that she should save it up and really go for it in the morning. As yet she has refused to mark the results on the Bristol stool chart that we sent her. But if we know Taylor like we think we know her, it’s bound to be a number three. Or four.”
One Swift fan who had decided to stay up all night for news on the singer’s bowel movements hit back at criticism that she could possibly have found a better use for her time.
“I’m sick of haters asking me if my life is that fucking shallow and pointless. I just say screw you. Why don’t you go and read a book or something.”
Taylor Swift’s new single, a cover of ‘People equals shit’ by Slipknot is out next week and will be available in all good record stores.