Rick Astley is never going to fuck off and will more than likely be warbling away when our grandchildren reach middle age according to scientists.
The British public have today aired their mass disappointment that according to some people on twitter the great big celebrity super-injunction that has been in the news for weeks might just be about Elton John and his stupid sex life. One person thriving on unfounded rumour said “We don’t know if it is or it […]
Britain’s most famous waxwork museum, Madame Tussauds, have confirmed this morning that they will be removing their replica of Jimmy Savile following complaints from some members of the public. The decision, which comes after an original plan to keep the wax work on display but stop the controversial recording of “Urgh-ee-Urgh-ee Urgh” that played in […]
Sotheby’s have admitted they will be lucky to get any serious bids for a rare self-portrait by Francis Bacon after it appears to have been vandalised by some sort of demented monkey with a sponge, thus leaving it looking nothing like him. A spokesman for the prestigious auction house said “It’s all smudged. This is […]
Media mogul Rupert Murdoch and former model Jerry Hall are reported to be consummating their marriage at this exact moment according to sources close to the pair. Reports that neither have been seen live on any internet footage for a matter of minutes in the aftermath of their earlier nuptials have led to widespread speculation […]
Glastonbury festival is thought to be under threat today following news that McCarthy and Stone have received planning permission to build a retirement complex just yards from where the main stage would normally be situated. Land owner Michael Eavis said “I was initially against the idea but then it occurred to me that I’ve had […]