Jimmy Saville awarded Time Magazine’s person of the year

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The late entertainer Jimmy Saville has been awarded Person of the Year for 2016 by US magazine Time.

Ray Winstone to fight hard Brexit

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Ray Winstone has challenged hard Brexit to a fight in a move that may be seen as a bitter blow to Prime Minister Theresa May’s authority on the matter.

Jim Davidson to run for Prime Minister

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Jim Davidson is to run for MP, leadership of the conservative party and Prime Minister in time for the general election in 2017 according to party sources. “People are too scared to slap a woman’s arse and do impressions of Indian people. I want an immediate return to 1970s intolerance and I’m going to criminalise […]

Jerry Springer to host UKIP leadership debate

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Jerry Springer has confirmed that he will be hosting a live television debate between UKIP leadership candidates Suzanne Evans and Paul Nuttall.

“Now I can put my nob in the sponge mix” announces Paul Hollywood

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Paul Hollywood has said he is delighted that he is the sole presenter and judge of bake off as now there are now no ladies to prevent him from putting his nob in the cake mix.

Jerry Sadowitz to present Bake off

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Comedian and Magician Jerry Sadowitz is set to host the new series of Great British Bake off according to Channel 4 who announced yesterday that they had won the contract for the flagship cake making competition.

Club shut down by people who don’t go clubbing anymore

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People who don’t go clubbing have called the closure of London super-club Fabric, a victory for common sense, particularly as they don’t go clubbing anymore so it won’t affect them.

Rick Astley “never going to fuck off”

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Rick Astley is never going to fuck off and will more than likely be warbling away when our grandchildren reach middle age according to scientists.

Justin Bieber to back leave campaign

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The campaign for Britain to remain in the EU has suffered another setback today following news that Justin Bieber has thrown his weight behind the leave campaign.

Lenny Henry bookies’ favourite to be next James bond

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Daily Mail readers are thought to be incensed following a story in the Mail that Lenny Henry is now the bookies favourite to be the next James Bond.