Paul Golding “Donald Trump is my father”

Britain First leader Paul Golding has revealed that US president Donald Trump is his father in a candid interview with the Guardian.

Public urged not to participate in Panda on the Veranda tradition.

Members of the public have been urged today to shun the Christmas tradition of leaving a live panda outside on some decking for the month of December apparently due to the poor survival rate of the rare bear like creatures in sub zero temperatures.

Trump defends sharing Skrewdriver tracks on Twitter

Donald Trump has reacted furiously this morning to suggestions by UK Prime Minister Theresa May that he should not share tracks by far right 1970s rockers Skrewdriver on social media.

Trump issues ultimatum to elephants

Donald Trump has issued an ultimatum to all elephants to cease and desist having big ears and a long trunk as tensions grow between the president and various factions of the animal kingdom

You can only be sexually inappropriate if you’re really the President Spacey told

Actor Kevin Spacey has been told that his House of Cards career may now be over following allegations of inappropriate sexual behaviour because he is not really the US President. A furious Donald Trump said that America would have a zero tolerance policy on such behaviour in the fictional political sphere if not the real […]

Trump state visit downgraded to “One cup of tea then you fuck off”

Donald Trump’s forthcoming state visit to Britain has been downgraded to “One cup of tea then you fuck off” according to Government insiders.

Trump “Sunny days to blame for devastation too”

Nice weather and sunny days must take their share of the blame for devastation across America caused by “many types of weather” according to US president Donald Trump.

Trump threatens North Korea with Fire and Phooey

China has appealed for calm this morning as US President Donald Trump has threatened to match any North Korean aggression with fire and Hong Kong Phooey.

God refuses to attend Trump’s inauguration

Donald Trump has suffered the biggest snub to his presidency so far after God has reportedly ruled out attending the President Elect’s inauguration.

Trump “We will build a giant Mexican and Pink Floyd will have to pay for it”

Donald Trump will commission the construction of a gigantic Mexican bankrolled by progressive rock band Pink Floyd according to the President Elect this morning.