Heterosexual couple lose bid to be treated like a gay couple ten years ago

civil-ceremony

A heterosexual couple has lost the right to be not allowed to get married as if they were a gay couple trying to get married before gay marriage was defined in law.

Man nipping over to France for a few days “defying the will of the people”

british-bloke-in-france

A man nipping over to France for a long week-end has been accused of defying the will of the people by the Daily Mail.

Portsmouth Council authorise new high rise shaped like a penis

donna-jones-high-rise-block

Portsmouth City Council leader Donna Jones has spoken of an exciting vision for Portsmouth, involving the construction of a high rise block shaped like a giant penis.

Trump to ban journalists from press conferences

trump-russian-masters

Donald Trump is to ban journalists from all future press conferences until they learn to stop asking the wrong questions and start writing down the things that he tells them.

People of Stoke to decide which twat to vote for

paul-nuttall-twat

The people of Stoke are shortly to decide whether to vote in a monumental twat or just a bit of a twat as their MP in the forthcoming by-election.

“Is it my turn again?” Asks Ed Miliband

ed-miliband

Ed Miliband has told Labour voters that he is ready for another go at being party leader.

“Why can’t Sturgeon be our leader?” say Labour members

sturgeon-corbyn

Labour members have reacted furiously today at news that they can’t have the nice Scottish lady who’ll tell Theresa May to stick her article 50 up her arse as their leader.

Government promises affordable homes to be bought by city types and rented out

sajid-javid-housing

The Government has vowed to build more affordable housing which can be bought up quickly as second homes by people who work in the city.

Trump to ban magic carpets and lamps

trump-dick-in-a-blender

President Trump is to ban all immigrants arriving in the USA on a magic carpet and has authorised extreme vetting of those carrying oil lamps, to make sure they don’t contain genies.

Trump orders review of guidelines regarding sticking your dick in a blender

trump-dick-in-a-blender

President Trump has ordered an immediate review into bureaucratic and stifling guidelines that recommend not putting your dick in a blender. “It’s overly restrictive and it’s all been put in place to appease the Muslims. Any Christian folk know that God and God alone will prevent them getting their dick maimed in a blender if […]