Boris Johnson has defended his decision to have 1960s crooner Englebert Humperdinck fronting the daily COVID 19 briefings and has insisted that “Stay Alert with Englebert” is the the most scientific way to reach much of the British public.
“When can I stop washing my hands again?” Matt Hancock asked
March 8, 2020 by Leave a Comment
Health Secretary Matt Hancock is under increasing pressure to outline when people can stop washing their hands again.
“Is it alright to bring back Chalky?” Jim Davidson asks
February 17, 2020 by Leave a Comment
Jim Davidson is set to bring back his side-splitting 1970s character Chalky following news that the Government have given the thumbs up to being racist again.
Chessington World of Adventures to host free Brexit party
January 26, 2020 by Leave a Comment
Chessington World of Adventures is to open its doors to Brexiters free of charge on 31st January to celebrate Britain’s long awaited departure from the EU.
“Thank you for voting Conservative” say FTSE 100 bosses
January 6, 2020 by Leave a Comment
FTSE 100 Chief Executives have written an open letter to the public thanking them for voting Conservative, as it means they have already earned the national average salary after only going back to work yesterday.
Jeremy Corbyn to stand for Labour leadership
January 5, 2020 by Leave a Comment
Jeremy Corbyn has thrown his hat into the ring in the forthcoming Labour leadership contest in a surprise move that immediately sees him as favourite to win.
Johnson “I did it for Brexit”
September 30, 2019 by Leave a Comment
Boris Johnson didn’t do it. But if he did, he did it for Brexit according to a statement from the Prime Minister.
Labour Government to stay in and leave the EU
September 19, 2019 by Leave a Comment
A Labour Government would unify the people by both staying in the EU and leaving it.
There won’t be a no deal Brexit recession because laughing smiley face
August 13, 2019 by Leave a Comment
There won’t be any sort of recession following a no deal Brexit because “laughing smiley face” and “we won get over it”, according to experts.
Peterborough votes for no NHS and fucking expensive holidays
June 6, 2019 by Leave a Comment
The plucky people of Peterborough have voted decidedly for the abolition of the NHS and for holidays abroad to be even more expensive than they are now.
