Jimmy Saville awarded Time Magazine’s person of the year


The late entertainer Jimmy Saville has been awarded Person of the Year for 2016 by US magazine Time.

Ray Winstone to fight hard Brexit


Ray Winstone has challenged hard Brexit to a fight in a move that may be seen as a bitter blow to Prime Minister Theresa May’s authority on the matter.

Immigrants disguising themselves as Elf on the Shelf


Many families hosting an Elf on the Shelf this Christmas may unwittingly be harbouring an illegal immigrant who left unattended would most likely take your job and convert your children to Islam according to UKIP leader Paul Nuttall.

Lib Dems “You can stick your Brexit up your arse”


Lib Dem Leader Tim Farron has confirmed that the party will be fighting all future elections on the slogan “You can stick your Brexit up your arse”

“£5 notes made from free range cows” assure Bank of England


The Bank of England have assured the public today that all cows used to produce the new £5 note lived a wonderfully free life, gambolling through the meadows, before being slaughtered and used to emboss the Queen’s head on legal tender.

Did Nigel Farage put his finger up Paul Nuttall’s arse during acceptance speech?


New UKIP leader Paul Nuttall has played down reports that Nigel Farage may have inserted his finger into his rectum during his acceptance speech.

Chris Evans in hiding as Princess Beatrice vows to stab all famous gingers


Princess Beatrice is to stab and maim all famous gingers with a sword, starting with Chris Evans, the moment she has visited Ed Sheeran in hospital and finished the job she started according to Royal sources.

Conservative Government to make tough decisions due to financial mess inherited from themselves


The Government are going to have to make some tough decisions due the appalling state of the public purse that they inherited from the last Government, which was themselves, according to Chancellor of the Exchequer Philip Hammond.

Trump “Nigel Farage must be Queen of England”


Nigel Farage should be made Queen of England in order to preserve Britain’s special relationship with the USA, according to president elect Donald Trump.

Murray “may be allowed to be English”


Prime Minister Theresa May has given her clearest indication yet that she may allow Andy Murray his life long dream of being English.