Swivel-eyed loons bribe God-bothering homophobes to form isolationist government

Austerity-fetishist food bank deniers the conservative party have given some homophobic God-botherers a billion pounds or two to agree with them for four years as Britain makes preparations to unnecessarily withdraw from the worlds biggest single market.

May to deny evolution in return for DUP support of hard Brexit

The world is 4000 years old and the human race started with one white couple in Africa, an apple and a snake, the Prime Minister has confirmed following this morning’s meeting with the DUP.

May “Gerard Depardieu is interfering in our General Election”

Foreigners from across the sea are interfering in the UK General election in a plot masterminded by Gerard Depardieu according to Prime Minister Theresa May.

People unite behind more reliance on food banks and no NHS

Theresa May looks set to win the forthcoming General election due to the overwhelming popularity of more people needing food banks and her plans to completely dismantle the NHS.

Independent Scotland to govern Gibraltar

An independent Scotland could govern Gibraltar thus allowing both to remain in Europe according to Scottish First Minister Nicola Sturgeon.

“You’re on your own now” says every single economist ever

Every single economist and financial analyst ever has wished Britain the best of luck in it’s exit from the single market, but has ruled out sticking around to watch it happen. A spokesman for credit rating agency Standard and Poors said “I’ve been warning against a clusterfuck of a recession for years and now its […]

Man nipping over to France for a few days “defying the will of the people”

A man nipping over to France for a long week-end has been accused of defying the will of the people by the Daily Mail.

“Why can’t Sturgeon be our leader?” say Labour members

Labour members have reacted furiously today at news that they can’t have the nice Scottish lady who’ll tell Theresa May to stick her article 50 up her arse as their leader.

Corbyn “Shit, I meant vote against article 50”

Labour Leader Jeremy Corbyn has this evening asked if parliament can possibly have another vote having realised that he just whipped his MPs to duck out of the world’s biggest free marketplace and leave Theresa May free to completely shaft workers rights.

Public fury as woman wins case not to find Mrs Brown’s boys funny

Campaigner Gina Miller has won a landmark case not to find Mrs Brown’s Boys funny depsite the fact that it was voted Britain’s best comedy by the British public