Hi My name’s Anjem Choudary and when I’m not preaching hate or arguing with John Humphreys on Radio 4 I like nothing more than celebrating Christmas. I’d celebrate it every single day given half a chance. I love all of it, the tree, the presents, the double episode of Eastenders but most of all I love the dinner. Roast turkey with all the trimmings, except pigs in blankets, plum pudding and whilst I vehemently oppose the consumption of alcohol, I might just have a sneaky sherry or a snowball. After all it is Christmas!
But it can also be an expensive time and funds are short for many, so here are some of my favourite money saving tips to keep you out of the red.
1) Been bought one of those shitty gift ideas from BHS? Whoever bought if for you will have put so little thought into it that they won’t even notice as you wrap it back up again and give it back to them next year.
2) Everybody loves one of those gifts that says you’re not getting them anything but instead you’ve given some money to charity. Simply make up a charity and invent a fictional donation. Nobody will ever know.
3) Going out for Christmas drinks? Always buy the first round. You can get through the whole night without putting your hand in your pocket after that.
4) Don’t forget to make your own crackers. Simply save the cardboard centres of loo rolls and fill them with unwanted toys from kinder surprise eggs. You can make them go bang by taking the long strips from unwanted crackers!
5) Always put Christmas on your credit card. If you can’t afford to pay it back you can fake your own death and start life under a new identity in a different part of the world!
6) I spend a lot of time swapping insults with former English Defence League leader Tommy Robinson. But we both agree that you should never buy the first rolls of wrapping paper you see. Shop around and find yourselves a real bargain.
Well is that the time? I must go. Just time to attempt to impose Sharia law while the mince pies are finishing in the oven. Then I need to get an early night or Santa won’t come.
Merry Christmas one and all!
Anjem.
News Toad 
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