Multi-millionaire Tory MPs, who claim expenses for second homes, have urged the public to get angry with people on TV.
Get angry with people on the telly say austerity-mongering millionaire Tory MPs
July 19, 2017 by Leave a Comment
Britain set to vote ‘Wanking Monkey’
April 19, 2017 by
Party leaders are said to be ‘upset and disappointed’ at the results of the latest polls released today which suggest that most of the British public are intending to shun all major and minor political parties at the forthcoming General election, and instead vote for a wanking monkey.
Zac Goldsmith to read news for BBC
May 8, 2016 by Leave a Comment
Former Mayoral hopeful Zac Goldsmith has today told of his delight at being offered the job of anchorman on BBC news.
BBC “molested other channels”
February 25, 2016 by Leave a Comment
The BBC used its influence as Britain’s most senior television channel to molest other TV channels over several decades, according to results of an inquiry released today. One industry source told us “It was all a picture of decency until the end of the day’s programmes. There was a quick round of God Save the […]
Children with beards exposed as sham charity
November 13, 2015 by 1 Comment
A highly organised criminal dwarf gang are being hunted as prime suspects as the entire £32 million proceeds from last year’s Children in Need were mistakenly awarded to sham charity “Children with beards” The charities promotional leaflet says “Many of these children have had excessive facial hair since the age of 3. As a result […]
Sturgeon “Scotland must decide its own bed time”
August 27, 2015 by Leave a Comment
Scotland should be able to decide what time it goes to bed at night free of diktats from Westminster, according to Scottish First Minister Nicola Sturgeon. Speaking at the Edinburgh Television Festival, Ms Sturgeon said that Scotland’s strict bed time routine orchestrated by Westminster politicians meant that many Scots, having had by law to get […]
Queen to appear on next episode of Who Do You Think You Are
August 10, 2015 by Leave a Comment
The Queen is set to appear as the guest celebrity on the next episode of popular genealogy documentary Who Do You Think You Are, according to BBC sources. A spokesman for the Corporation told us that the Queen, who is also rumoured to be filming an episode of Undercover Boss, wasn’t a big fan of […]
Farage fury at Left Wing town criers
May 1, 2015 by Leave a Comment
Nigel Farage has spoken today of his fury at left wing town criers who, despite not being around very much these days, are most likely pursuing some sort of Guardianista agenda and need to be banned. Speaking to a heaving press conference sadly populated by left wing journalists who were probably hand picked by the […]
Avid Merrion withdraws Jeremy Clarkson character
March 25, 2015 by Leave a Comment
Avid Merrion has confirmed that he will be withdrawing his character of Jeremy Clarkson with immediate effect and will now stick to entertaining the nation with his less offensive characters such as the small bear that keeps showing his penis. In a situation not dissimilar from the termination of the Dapper Laughs character last year, […]
Green party kept off TV to save energy
October 14, 2014 by Leave a Comment
The Green Party are being denied a voice in forthcoming television debates preceding the general election in order to save energy according to the BBC, ITV, Sky and Channel 4. A spokesman for all four channels told us “If we put them on the television, loads of people will watch it which will use more […]
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