The Daily Mail appointed Work and Pensions Secretary

Prime Minister Theresa May has today defended her decision to award the position of Work and Pensions Secretary to the Daily Mail newspaper.

Britain “tricked into making passports colour of the EU flag”

Former UKIP leader Nigel Farage has lambasted the EU today for tricking Britain into changing its passport colour to blue like the EU flag.

Public urged not to participate in Panda on the Veranda tradition.

Members of the public have been urged today to shun the Christmas tradition of leaving a live panda outside on some decking for the month of December apparently due to the poor survival rate of the rare bear like creatures in sub zero temperatures.

Trump defends sharing Skrewdriver tracks on Twitter

Donald Trump has reacted furiously this morning to suggestions by UK Prime Minister Theresa May that he should not share tracks by far right 1970s rockers Skrewdriver on social media.

Diesel powered juggernaut promoting diabetes causing drink to celebrate Jesus’ birthday

A large diesel powered lorry is to drive around the country hijacking a religious festival to promote it’s own corporate agenda, with free samples of a drink that erodes your teeth and causes diabetes.

Trump issues ultimatum to elephants

Donald Trump has issued an ultimatum to all elephants to cease and desist having big ears and a long trunk as tensions grow between the president and various factions of the animal kingdom

African people to pay Bono’s tax bill

Grateful people from Africa are to pay Bono’s tax bill as plans to hold a benefit concert for him in Nairobi are underway.

Gary Barlow “I taught the Queen everything she knows about tax evasion”

Take That front man Gary Barlow has admitted giving Her Royal Highness the Queen tips on tax evasion over several visits to the Palace where the pair talked about their immense fortunes and ate roast swan. 

Damian Green porn allegations in doubt as internet history empty

First Secretary of State Damian Green has never been on the internet ever according to his internet history, completely disproving allegations that he may have been watching porn.

You can only be sexually inappropriate if you’re really the President Spacey told

Actor Kevin Spacey has been told that his House of Cards career may now be over following allegations of inappropriate sexual behaviour because he is not really the US President. A furious Donald Trump said that America would have a zero tolerance policy on such behaviour in the fictional political sphere if not the real […]