Members of the public have been urged today to shun the Christmas tradition of leaving a live panda outside on some decking for the month of December apparently due to the poor survival rate of the rare bear like creatures in sub zero temperatures.
Public urged not to participate in Panda on the Veranda tradition.
December 2, 2017 by Leave a Comment
Trump defends sharing Skrewdriver tracks on Twitter
November 30, 2017 by Leave a Comment
Donald Trump has reacted furiously this morning to suggestions by UK Prime Minister Theresa May that he should not share tracks by far right 1970s rockers Skrewdriver on social media.
Diesel powered juggernaut promoting diabetes causing drink to celebrate Jesus’ birthday
November 22, 2017 by Leave a Comment
A large diesel powered lorry is to drive around the country hijacking a religious festival to promote it’s own corporate agenda, with free samples of a drink that erodes your teeth and causes diabetes.
Trump issues ultimatum to elephants
November 18, 2017 by Leave a Comment
Donald Trump has issued an ultimatum to all elephants to cease and desist having big ears and a long trunk as tensions grow between the president and various factions of the animal kingdom
African people to pay Bono’s tax bill
November 6, 2017 by Leave a Comment
Grateful people from Africa are to pay Bono’s tax bill as plans to hold a benefit concert for him in Nairobi are underway.
Gary Barlow “I taught the Queen everything she knows about tax evasion”
November 5, 2017 by 1 Comment
Take That front man Gary Barlow has admitted giving Her Royal Highness the Queen tips on tax evasion over several visits to the Palace where the pair talked about their immense fortunes and ate roast swan.
Damian Green porn allegations in doubt as internet history empty
November 5, 2017 by Leave a Comment
First Secretary of State Damian Green has never been on the internet ever according to his internet history, completely disproving allegations that he may have been watching porn.
You can only be sexually inappropriate if you’re really the President Spacey told
October 31, 2017 by Leave a Comment
Actor Kevin Spacey has been told that his House of Cards career may now be over following allegations of inappropriate sexual behaviour because he is not really the US President. A furious Donald Trump said that America would have a zero tolerance policy on such behaviour in the fictional political sphere if not the real […]
50 metre fatberg to be used to make world’s largest burger
October 15, 2017 by Leave a Comment
A 50 metre fatberg recently removed from a London sewer is to be used to cook the world’s biggest burger, London mayor Sadiq Kahn has confirmed today.
Trump condemns “failing intelligence test” after achieving 85 IQ
October 13, 2017 by 1 Comment
US president Donald Trump has condemned the IQ test as a “failing examination” following reports that he achieved a score of 85.
