Lets not pretend it’s ok to be a Daily Mail Reader

Hi, I’m Richard Littlejohn and as you may have read I’ve just been banned from Centreparcs for being a bigot. But am I? Am I really? Obviously yes but it’s not my fault. It’s yours. And that’s not ok.

Yes, I’m the one that drones on like the bastard lovechild of Katie Hopkins and an enormous fascist ham. But if no-one actually read what I spout on a daily basis, then it wouldn’t have come to this, and I, Richard Littlejohn, would be allowed to splash about in the Centreparcs pool like a carefree racist walrus and cycle through their woodland clad in lycra being homophobic.

Yes, it’s your fault. Sitting at home reading your Daily Mail and shaking your head at stories cynically contrived to pander to your insecurities. What happened to society to make it alright to read my stuff? We’re going to hell in a handcart.

Especially you. Poncing around town brandishing your Daily Mail and looking like the world’s ended, whilst tutting at every minority from disabled people to gay people or perhaps an Indian looking fellow, who, if you bothered to find out, might employ 20 local people, resuscitate your mother in hospital or do a fair but of charity work.

And once we get rid of the foreigners, disabled people, homosexuals and young people we’ll invent a whole new subcategory for you to get upset about. Anything but challenge your own inadequacies, which you know deep down underpin your deep seated unhappiness.

For fucks sake it’s 2018. You can find out anything, you can fact check anything. Stop thinking what I tell you to think. You even voted Brexit because I told you to, didn’t you?

I am your creation. I feed on your bigotry.

And some of you even try to reconcile agreeing with my views with your Christian beliefs. Sorry monkey people but Jesus most likely read the Guardian.

And as for these two men bringing up a child. They seem so happy. So successful. Even so normal. Even role models. And it seems so unfair. But don’t worry, you’ve always got me. At least while I can still earn a living out of it. Just keep buying the Mail.

All the best, assuming you’re white, heterosexual, and a bit thick.

Richard x