Jimmy Saville awarded Time Magazine’s person of the year

jimmy-saville-time-person-of-the-year

The late entertainer Jimmy Saville has been awarded Person of the Year for 2016 by US magazine Time.

Trump “Nigel Farage must be Queen of England”

farage-queen-of-england

Nigel Farage should be made Queen of England in order to preserve Britain’s special relationship with the USA, according to president elect Donald Trump.

Boris Johnson “We must all climb into Trump’s arse”

boris-johnson-donald-trump

We must all climb into Donald Trump’s arse and deferentially do his bidding, blindly following his every xenophobic whim according to Foreign Secretary Boris Johnson.

Trump to just build half a wall

trump-wall

Donald Trump will most likely build just half a wall on the US Mexico border instead of a whole one according to sources close to the President elect.

Putin outlines Trump’s induction week

putin-trump

Russian Premier Vladimir Putin has sent Donald Trump his firm offer of the job in the White House and outlined the itinerary for his induction week.

“Next time we’ll elect someone even worse” promise US voters

trump-supporters

US voters have promised that they will vote in someone even worse at the 2020 presidential elections if Donald Trump’s reforms fail to make America great again. “He oughta be alright. He’s racist, misogynistic and he mocks people with disabilities. And he thinks everyone should be armed to the teeth. So that should bring world […]

Captain Cook to fuck off back to his own country as Australia bans immigration by boat

no-immigration-by-boat

Captain Cook, all his descendants and anyone who looks a bit like him will have to fuck off back to their own country following a landmark ruling today to ban all immigrants who attempt to enter the country by boat.

Britain secures trade deal with Liechtenstein

boris-liechtenstein-deal

Boris Johnson has secured a victory for Brexit Britain having reportedly brokered a trade deal with the country of Liechtenstein.

Bill Cosby withdraws support for Trump

cosby-and-trump

Entertainer Bill Cosby has publicly withdrawn support for Presidential hopeful Donald Trump saying that he may even vote for rival Hilary Clinton instead.

Trump to limit sexual assault to outside work hours

sexual-assault-trump

Donald Trump has promised US citizens that he will keep all future sexual assaults outside work hours so as not to affect his ability to perform as president.