Justin Bieber joins UKIP


Canadian crooner Justin Bieber has confirmed that as of today he is now a fully paid up member of the United Kingdom Independence Party. The cock womble songsmith took time out from defecating onto fans from the top of a ladder when he broke the news, which it is thought will further increase Nigel Farage’s share of the vote in the months running up to next years General election.

A beaming Nigel Farage told us the Bieber aquisition would be a wake up call for mainstream politics and an even hairier fox in the Westminster hen house.

“He puts a nice wholesome face on for the public and then behind closed doors comes out with frequent racist diatribes. And that makes him ideal UKIP material. Plus he’ll be able to entertain at events, especially when we have steel bands who refuse to play. And it’s not just the politics. He’ll be bringing a wide range of talents to the party such as singing bland manufactured pop and being a bit of a tool.”

Bieber joins a star studded selection of entertainers who support UKIP that includes Jim Davidson, the late Bernard Manning and family favourite club entertainer Gerhardt the singing nazi.

One fan told us “I love Justin whatever he does. And if Justin feels that blaming a wide variety of British issues on immigration and ethnic diversity then that’s what we think too. At least until Justin thinks something different.”

Prime Minister David Cameron told us that Mr Bieber may have joined UKIP without fully evaluating his options.

“I think Justin would be much happier with a more traditional right wing party that will then use some UKIP policies to make us more popular with the bigot vote. We’ve just got to get that message across to him.” he explained.


  1. So proud of Justin for taking a stance on something so important!

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