“What’s wrong with us?” demand Government as Romanians fail to arrive

david cameron immigration

The Romanian and Bulgarian ambassadors to Britain have been summoned to Downing street for urgent talks this morning following the complete absence of the stampede of immigrants expected on New Years day. Prime Minister David Cameron explained “We were supposed to wake up on New years day to find them all camping on roundabouts and mugging pensioners. Looks like they’ve all gone to France or Spain instead. Or even worse stayed at home. How dare they not come here and piss on our sanctimonious bonfire like that.”

The lack of expected mass immigration, which has caused both the Daily Mail and Daily Express to have blank covers this morning, is thought likely to result in legal action. A spokesman for both papers explained  “We rely on immigration so we can make a living demonising it. So we want compensation for them not coming over here and they’re going to have to pay up. And if they need to come over here to work or claim benefits in order to raise the money to do that then so be it. And then we won’t rest until they’ve left.”

One disappointed British citizen told us “I haven’t worked for years. I was hoping I could put this down to an army of eastern European immigrants coming to take all our jobs or claim all our benefits or something. In the clear absence of such an influx I am being forced to finally admit to myself that the reason that I am not in gainful employment is because I’m a bit lazy. So I’m joining the English Defence League instead where I can convince myself that it’s not me being lazy or at fault in any way, it’s Muslims.”


  1. They say about romanians or bulgarians 🙂 but actualy is those english lazy a..ses who is sponging the state, all my english girls friends have at list 3-4 kids and they never worked in their lives:) and live on benefits. Stop blaming on foreigners and put your a.ses to work…I am doing social care work, i haven’t see to many english carers at all, only africans or europeans. We don’t get your jobs….we just like working

  2. Patience dear Brits, we’re still recovering from the hangover after Saint John’s onomastic parties, brace yourselves because we shall soon be there ! MUAHAHHAHAAAA!

  3. typically anglo-saxons. But when sh*it hit the fan, “oh, is not our fault!”.

  4. Who ate all the swans in Hide Park? Who infected River Thames? Who ruined English football? Yes, here we are Eastern European invaders.

  5. Can I claim benefits in Romania & recieve free health care?
    Ro looks great.

  6. the problem in UK is not the romanian and bulgarian immigrants. this is a mask in order to cover the unemployment rate in UK. Face it.

  7. We Don’t Want You Here by Gari Sullivan

    The roads are paved with gold all the way

    From Eastern Europe to Calais,

    Not the UK.

    Our roads are

    black, tarmac and cracked

    and they’re gonna stay that way.

    Look, we’re just not the same, I’m guessing.

    You have your Eurocrisis

    We have triple-dip recession

    Oh and our benefits are for our benefit

    The Great British shirkers, the behind-the-curtain lurkers

    At 7am stay in bed, hidden from the on-the-way-to-work’ers.

    Also, you foreign shirkers, you less minimum wage workers,

    working hard for peanuts

    cleaning all our toiluts,

    You shirkers can’t take our work, cos

    there isn’t enough work for us.

    You wanna be part of our communities?

    Right then, we’ll close all our libraries

    So your kids can’t read

    Like our kids can’t read

    and write and spell.

    You think you’re something spechell

    Cos you know our countable nouns

    and phrasal verbs?

    They’re just words

    We may be ignorant

    But we can chant

    So come to the UK,


    Yeah come to the UK,


    Come to the UK.

    We dare ya!

    • Who are these “You” in UK, Mr Gary Sullivan? Pakistani, Indian, people from Jamaica… People from the colonies of the British Empire that has stolen a lot from people all over the world…But I guess – you`d like to keep it…Yes, you are right we`re not such kind of thieves and there`s no room for us. I agree with you and I won`t come in UK not as an emigrant, but as a tourist or for any other reason. I won`t give you a penny…Your country has stolen enough from me.

  8. I Don’t Want To Work In The UK, I Just Want To Shop There!

    Join my group on facebook.

    Happy New Year to all of you!

  9. Reblogged this on Bulgaria and commented:
    On 1st January Bulgarians were still recovering from the New year’s Eve festivities. Most were eating Skembe Chorba (exquisite Entrail soup) that is downed with a beer or two….
    More about the surprises of Bulgaria on Facebook:

  10. That quote must be fake, an EDL member would never be that well-spoken…

  11. uk government says: they will come in uk and take all our benefits and jobs!!!! i live in barnet area and see loads of english young mothers with 3 or 4 or 5 kids and of course, living on benefits!!! i have not seen any romanian woman with more then 1 or 2 kids, NEVER !!! so, DAVID CAMERON think before you open that s***thole you call mouth: WE, ROMANIANS and other immigrants pay your lazy citizens’s benefits

  12. Have patient lads, we assemble the legions and we are coming to conquer all the jobs, and benefits :)) to beacome fat and lazy as you are 😛

  13. i am still whaiting for a reason to come in yo’re country, can someone give me that reason…. hello anybody there?!! hmmm… no answer, i guess i will stay at home… happy new year my UK friend’s and i am hopeing that not all of you are racist and thinking that we all are some hungry animals in search for the holy grail, that you wish to be the UK. It is a country among other countryes nothing more nothing less. As i sayed have a great new year!!! P.S: sorry for my bad english i did not learn it at school i learn it from mouvies and games… goodbye 🙂

    • Man, i have been there and i would go back only for some very good opportunity… I would’t go back to the daily daily routine of waking up at 5 to catch a tube at 6 and arrive at work at eight after i have shared for an hour and a half the tube with countless sleepy and bored people…. and than to go back home from work at 17 o’clock with the same people who new are grumpy and tired and if “lucky” due to some malfunction arrive at home at 21 o’clock…..mind the gap!

    • Many of us are okay, and many of us say “Welcome”. We hate our politicians and we hate our fascist newspapers. Do what you want to do, live where you want to live, be who you want to be.

  14. Women look much better, MUCH better in Romania 🙂 And we have TONS of good, cheap wine in Romania too! Brits are welcome 😉

  15. Here are some comments from a Bulgarian girl living in the UK. Great to see so many British people agreeing with this point of view! – https://www.facebook.com/permalink.php?story_fbid=580538012016142&id=572980146105262

  16. oh lol, Brits don’t know their staff…we (Bulgarian at least) got to recover form all the rakia drinking we’ve had arround New Year’s Eve before jumping on the plane, lol
    give us some time, and we will deliver, alright?

  17. A hilarious article but I am slightly dismayed by the “lazy brit” reference. I have plenty of friends that have come out of University with top degrees that still cannot find employment; they send out copious amounts of job applications but to no avail.

    • erm, maybe the whole article is, you know, satirical…. anyhow, i’m also offended and am cancelling my subscription…. oh shit, that Private Eye, isn’t it? 😉

      • Of course I know the article is satirical, hence my “hilarious” comment (-; However, behind satire can emerge “perceived truths” – it seems they are implying that there is truth behind this quote. The British people are not “lazy” as such but they tend to stay away from certain jobs. This is why I agree with European migration from Bulgaria and Romania, these people often take low skilled work. They take the positions of carers, restaurant waitresses and cleaners. We need positions like this to be filled so I welcome them.

  18. in your face!


  20. Now dear Brits, the fact is that in the past year Romanians and Bulgarians (especially young lads) fought with their Governments for a better life in their own countries. There are less and less young people desire to leave the country. They want to stay in their own country and they are fighting to make it better. Eventually there will come some gypsies for begging to UK, but that’s ok with us, you can take as many of them 😀

  21. Bosnienbloggen says:

    Reblogged this on Bosnienbloggen.

  22. because for once in your life you should remember
    the one that will steal are the romanian gypsies nor romanian citizen

    writen by a romanian girl
    and shhhhhh

  23. I like how romanians build the KINGDOM’s economy, while brittons lay in their “cribs” and do nothing ( their main activity and contribution to the well-being of society ) Newsflash – Most of us, romanians (killers, robbers, beggars, and all those nice things you want to call us) will choose from any other 8 new countries that opened the gates to freedom. Thank you, GB, but no thank you.

  24. Our Government (although up in the North I can’t find anyone who will admit to having voted them in), does not represent us.. Nor does the hysterical red top press. We just have people who read the rubbish and don’t pass the information through their inbuilt s**t detector, or they don’t evenhave one because they are not very bright.

  25. An Onion-esque article? Very fun to read. 🙂

  26. Romanian Respect England

  27. I prefer to come though.)

  28. Reblogged this on piterelu and commented:

  29. So you gotta let me know
    Should I come or should I go?
    (I prefer not to come though.)

  30. We are packing….! Shhhht! Quiet, we’ve got to think! … How the hell do we fit the donkey in the suitcase?! iiiiii, aaaaa, iiiiii, aaaaa, iiiii, aaaaa …The F§$%ing donkey is so happy to see Buckingham Palace, he can’t contain himself!

  31. Just heard one of Britain’s top burglars just died. Had no idea Britain had burglars before the first Romanian arrived in the UK

  32. Now honestly who was so stupid to really believe people will come exactly on 1 January? Romanians are still celebrating New Year and Saint Vasile on the first day of the year, why would they bother travelling when they have plenty of time to come here? Not that I don’t enjoy how some newspapers are being made fun of though :)))
    Asa ca nu ziceti hop pana n-ati sarit parleazul dragi britanici, anul abia a inceput

  33. Some of us are up here in Sweden, too cold to p… On bonfires so we are paying (high) taxes

  34. They’ve got more sense then to come here &live under this draconian Government run by a horde of wannabe neo Nazis with Mein Furer Cameron and SS Clegg and Golag officer Ian Duncan Smith at the helm of this ever more sickening country

  35. Chill UK or other countries who dislike Romanians. We’ve just realised that it’s better here than in your countries… Even Prince Charles comes here more often than in UK so… keep your bad weather and your jobs we are still enjoying the holidays and don’t act like Diva’s like in those snickers commercials 😉

  36. And you wont see us coming like flies over to West , we arent what you are trying to make others see we are. We are humans just as you are, but as usual West Europe sees only the worst in East Europe. They Forget they left us in Kommunist 45years and they share just as much as us the payment for those lost years.

  37. And no trace of them in France either, despite us organising snails, frogs’ legs and other hors d’oeuvre to make sure they feel how warm our welcome is.

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