Brexit is worth losing a bollock over say over 65s

People over 65 who support Brexit would continue to back it even if it meant losing one of their bollocks to ensure it went ahead.

Blair to get police caution over Iraq war

Tony Blair is set to get off with a caution over starting the Iraq war as it is his first offence according to a spokesman for the High court.

Brexiters celebrate British independence by dousing chickens in toilet duck

Brexit supporters throughout the country have been celebrating British Independence by dousing their chickens in toilet duck, thought to be a prerequisite of any trade deal with America. 

Get angry with people on the telly say austerity-mongering millionaire Tory MPs

Multi-millionaire Tory MPs, who claim expenses for second homes, have urged the public to get angry with people on TV.

Paul Golding announced as new Doctor Who

Britain First leader Paul Golding has confirmed that he will be making his acting debut later this year having been offered the role of Doctor Who.

Britain First to boycott Wimbledon following decision to sell Halal strawberries

Britain First leader Paul Golding has confirmed that he will boycott Wimbledon this year following the competition’s decision to sell only Halal strawberries.

Swivel-eyed loons bribe God-bothering homophobes to form isolationist government

Austerity-fetishist food bank deniers the conservative party have given some homophobic God-botherers a billion pounds or two to agree with them for four years as Britain makes preparations to unnecessarily withdraw from the worlds biggest single market.

May to deny evolution in return for DUP support of hard Brexit

The world is 4000 years old and the human race started with one white couple in Africa, an apple and a snake, the Prime Minister has confirmed following this morning’s meeting with the DUP.

Trump administration urges Britons to use shorter sentences on state visit

A spokesman for the White House has confirmed that they have asked all UK citizens to speak in very short sentences ahead of President Trump’s state visit to Britain in October.

May vows to exact absolute revenge on Labour voters

Theresa May is still going to win the General election despite all the recent kerfuffle and she is going to start her term by rounding up Labour voters and sending them to Tory correction centres.