Ray Winstone to fight hard Brexit

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Ray Winstone has challenged hard Brexit to a fight in a move that may be seen as a bitter blow to Prime Minister Theresa May’s authority on the matter.

Immigrants disguising themselves as Elf on the Shelf

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Many families hosting an Elf on the Shelf this Christmas may unwittingly be harbouring an illegal immigrant who left unattended would most likely take your job and convert your children to Islam according to UKIP leader Paul Nuttall.

Lib Dems “You can stick your Brexit up your arse”

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Lib Dem Leader Tim Farron has confirmed that the party will be fighting all future elections on the slogan “You can stick your Brexit up your arse”

Did Nigel Farage put his finger up Paul Nuttall’s arse during acceptance speech?

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New UKIP leader Paul Nuttall has played down reports that Nigel Farage may have inserted his finger into his rectum during his acceptance speech.

Trump “Nigel Farage must be Queen of England”

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Nigel Farage should be made Queen of England in order to preserve Britain’s special relationship with the USA, according to president elect Donald Trump.

Jim Davidson to run for Prime Minister

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Jim Davidson is to run for MP, leadership of the conservative party and Prime Minister in time for the general election in 2017 according to party sources. “People are too scared to slap a woman’s arse and do impressions of Indian people. I want an immediate return to 1970s intolerance and I’m going to criminalise […]

Daily Mail to cease trading as Google and Facebook ban fake news

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The owner of the Daily Mail has today confirmed rumours that the paper will cease all further publications in response to a crackdown on fake news.

Boris Johnson “We must all climb into Trump’s arse”

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We must all climb into Donald Trump’s arse and deferentially do his bidding, blindly following his every xenophobic whim according to Foreign Secretary Boris Johnson.

“Yes we are controlled by secret lizard people” admits May

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David Icke is right and MPs are under the direct control of lizard people, Prime Minister Theresa May has admitted today.

Britain to pull out of drinking in moderation

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Britain is to opt out of the EU policy of moderate drinking at meal times in favour of the traditional British policy of getting as drunk as a monkey on an empty stomach on a Friday night.