“I never mocked that disabled reporter” says man who mocked reporter for being disabled

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Donald Trump has gone on record today to deny mocking reporter Serge Kovaleski for being disabled even though he did and it was all recorded and everybody saw it.

May “We’re having an Okey Cokey Brexit”

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Britain will be having an Okey Cokey Brexit where it puts its left foot in, out, in out and then shakes it all about according to Prime Minister Theresa May.

Government to roll fat people down hills

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Obese people could face cuts to their benefits if they do not agree to be rolled down a steep hill, under new plans being outlined by Home Secretary Amber Rudd. Ms Rudd has published a report looking at how benefit payments can be linked to claimants’ lifestyles, in particular their “willingness to move rapidly from […]

English Defence league to assist with English tuition for new immigrants

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The English Defence League is to offer free English tuition to all new immigrants in a new project designed to facilitate communication and ease racial tension.

UK ambassador to EU resigns as EU countries refuse to speak English

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The UK’s ambassador to the EU quit due to not understanding what anyone was talking about it has emerged today.

“Thanks Beardy! You’ve got me until 2025!” says May

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Theresa May has the best part of a decade to do whatever the fuck she likes unchallenged and unhindered thanks to the British public’s steadfast refusal to trust a man with a beard.

“Strikes show nearly as much contempt for the public as I do” says May

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Prime Minister Theresa May has voiced her secret admiration for the forthcoming strikes as she feels they treat the public with contempt, which is something she holds deep to her heart.

“Britain will be mainly ginger if we get rid of immigrants” warns secret UKIP report

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A secret UKIP report has questioned the party’s policy on lowering immigration warning that it could mean an unsustainable rise in ginger haired people.

McDonalds to pay corporation tax at £6.71 per hour

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McDonalds are to pay HMRC £6.71 an hour in corporation tax following their move to London from Luxembourg for tax purposes.

Ray Winstone to fight hard Brexit

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Ray Winstone has challenged hard Brexit to a fight in a move that may be seen as a bitter blow to Prime Minister Theresa May’s authority on the matter.