May vows to exact absolute revenge on Labour voters

Theresa May is still going to win the General election despite all the recent kerfuffle and she is going to start her term by rounding up Labour voters and sending them to Tory correction centres.

Vote for shit education and no NHS because Corbyn might not launch a nuclear missile

Prime Minister Theresa May has warned members of the public that they must vote for child poverty, food banks, expensive social care, underfunded education, no NHS and a reduced army and police force as in the event that we are obliterated by a nuclear strike,  Prime Minister Corbyn may not launch one back to destroy […]

Sun readers somehow furious at Labour plans to tax people earning over 80k

Sun readers have endorsed their favourite newspaper’s call to arms following Labour plans to tax people earning over £80,000 a year a bit more.

Putin unsure how to screw up UK General election any more than it is

Russian Premier Vladimir Putin is thought to be stumped as to how he might sabotage the forthcoming UK general election without inadvertently making it better, according to Kremlin sources.

“Corbyn is unelectable” warns actor who played Roland in Grange Hill

Erkan Mustafa who played Roland in early episodes of Grange Hill has today warned that Labour face annihilation under Jeremy Corbyn should Theresa May call a snap election.

“Thanks Beardy! You’ve got me until 2025!” says May

Theresa May has the best part of a decade to do whatever the fuck she likes unchallenged and unhindered thanks to the British public’s steadfast refusal to trust a man with a beard.

Boris Johnson “We must all climb into Trump’s arse”

We must all climb into Donald Trump’s arse and deferentially do his bidding, blindly following his every xenophobic whim according to Foreign Secretary Boris Johnson.

Tristram Hunt to challenge for Labour leadership

Former Shadow Education Secretary Tristram Hunt has announced his intention to challenge Jeremy Corbyn in a Labour leadership contest.

Government deny strangling kittens whilst media focus on the Olympics

Prime Minister Theresa May has strenuously denied accusations that the cabinet have been strangling kittens whilst the media focus their attention on the Olympic games.

Angela Eagle leadership bid sponsored by Starbucks

Angela Eagle’s leadership campaign for the top job in the Labour party is to be sponsored by coffee giant Starbucks, according to a statement released today, heralding a partnership that is thought to be completely impartial, aside from some very important messages. Though the leadership bid has been announced today, it will officially begin tomorrow […]