Russian Premier Vladimir Putin is thought to be stumped as to how he might sabotage the forthcoming UK general election without inadvertently making it better, according to Kremlin sources.
A spokesman for Russia today said “It is thought that the Kremlin had to ditch a dastardly plan to install a right wing political editor in the BBC, who would dupe the British public into electing a far right Prime Minister, after realising this was not only already happening but going strong.”
Plan B was apparently to install a leader of the opposition who disenfranchised half his party by refusing to listen to them on Europe and then would then blame the media after he lost the party all its seats.
They even thought of installing a middle of the road party who had sensible policies and would want to stay in Europe but were also really really shit.
“The shocking thing is that May doesn’t even need to call an election. She just wants to eliminate all the opposition. She’s like a Dalek. Billions spent on our Ministry for Hacking and Electoral Subterfuge and it turns out the best thing we can do is to stay out of the way.” Mr Putin bemoaned.
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