Clacton rock system to core by electing same bloke

carswell mp

The people of Clacton-on-Sea have rocked the political system as we know it to its core by electing the same bloke as they already had until such time as there is another election in a few months when the same bloke will be standing again.

Newly appointed Mp Douglas Carswell told us “The people have spoken as one and announced defiantly that they want change. And that means the same people who voted me in last time voting me in again. That’s revolution for you. Che Guevara eat your fucking heart out.”

One Clacton-on-Sea resident told us “We were sick and tired of that Tory Douglas Carswell letting immigrants in on a red carpet, making them a cup of tea and giving them their own private helicopter. That new one’s going to be tough on all of them. If new Douglas Carswell was to meet old Douglas Carswell he’d read him the riot act. It’s funny how you don’t see the old one around any more. I guess he knows when he’s beaten.”

Despite former Charterhouse public schoolboy Carswell having  a new job and being a new person, fans of the old former Charterhouse public schoolboy Carswell can be assured that he will still be right wing and enjoy the same salary, expenses and pension. However in what is seen as a breath of fresh air, he will now be representing a party lead by a former city trader.

“Clacton might still look the same to the untrained eye. But it’s very actually very different” he explained.


  1. Those pigeons got rid of that African swallow as well- A town standing as one!

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