Trump “Sunny days to blame for devastation too”

Nice weather and sunny days must take their share of the blame for devastation across America caused by “many types of weather” according to US president Donald Trump.

Trump threatens North Korea with Fire and Phooey

China has appealed for calm this morning as US President Donald Trump has threatened to match any North Korean aggression with fire and Hong Kong Phooey.

Trump to impose travel ban on short people

US president Donald Trump is to impose a ban on short people entering the country unless they have bona fide business there.

Britain First to boycott Wimbledon following decision to sell Halal strawberries

Britain First leader Paul Golding has confirmed that he will boycott Wimbledon this year following the competition’s decision to sell only Halal strawberries.

Paultons Park to admit only blonde haired blue eyed children

Paulton’s park are to restrict access to children with blonde hair, blue eyes and high cheekbones accompanied by parents of a similar appearance unless they’re a foreign nanny.-

Paul Nuttall accused of lying over his Stoke address of 48b Bollocks Avenue

UKIP leader Paul Nuttall has defended his decision to put 48b Bollocks avenue, Stoke-on-Trent on his election nomination form even thought he apparently doesn’t know where it is.

Queen to offer Trump British delicacy of Dog Eggs on state visit

President Trump will be invited to Buckingham Palace to savour the exquisite British dish of dog eggs when he arrives on his state visit according to sources close to the Queen.

Trump to deport toddlers

US President Donald Trump is to begin a mass deportation of toddlers following reports that statistically they shoot more people in America than Islamic terrorists.

Trump “I’m ordering a pizza and Domino’s are going to pay for it”

Donald Trump is ordering a pizza this evening and Dominos are going to pay for it, according to a tweet from the President.

Trump begins arresting and waterboarding musicians

US citizens have been urged today to come forward regarding the whereabouts of Bruce Springsteen, Elton John and U2 who are all reportedly on the run following news that President Of the USA, Donald Trump, has ordered the arrest and subsequent waterboarding of all musicians apart from the ones that played his inauguration.