Paul Nuttall accused of lying over his Stoke address of 48b Bollocks Avenue

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UKIP leader Paul Nuttall has defended his decision to put 48b Bollocks avenue, Stoke-on-Trent on his election nomination form even thought he apparently doesn’t know where it is.

Queen to offer Trump British delicacy of Dog Eggs on state visit

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President Trump will be invited to Buckingham Palace to savour the exquisite British dish of dog eggs when he arrives on his state visit according to sources close to the Queen.

Trump to deport toddlers

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US President Donald Trump is to begin a mass deportation of toddlers following reports that statistically they shoot more people in America than Islamic terrorists.

Trump “I’m ordering a pizza and Domino’s are going to pay for it”

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Donald Trump is ordering a pizza this evening and Dominos are going to pay for it, according to a tweet from the President.

Trump begins arresting and waterboarding musicians

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US citizens have been urged today to come forward regarding the whereabouts of Bruce Springsteen, Elton John and U2 who are all reportedly on the run following news that President Of the USA, Donald Trump, has ordered the arrest and subsequent waterboarding of all musicians apart from the ones that played his inauguration.

Trump “We will build a giant Mexican and Pink Floyd will have to pay for it”

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Donald Trump will commission the construction of a gigantic Mexican bankrolled by progressive rock band Pink Floyd according to the President Elect this morning.

Daily Mail to cease trading as Google and Facebook ban fake news

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The owner of the Daily Mail has today confirmed rumours that the paper will cease all further publications in response to a crackdown on fake news.