NRA leader “Stop calling me Shooty McShootface”

shooty mcshootface

NRA leader Wayne LaPierre has appealed to the world to take the NRA seriously again and stop calling him Shooty McShootface.

“It may sound strange to people from other countries but our 2nd Amendment makes it quite clear that I should not be ridiculed for becoming very rich based on sales of weapons that kill tens of thousands every year based on a constitution made in 1791. Back then everyone had some sort of weapon but other developed countries have since grown out of it and changed their laws accordingly because it’s actually 2018. But we haven’t. And we have every right to bribe our politicians so they don’t either.

“Just because other countries that have banned guns have virtually no gun deaths by comparison, it doesn’t mean that there is any connection.

“And if you think nobody having a gun will stop the shootings then you’re being naive. The shootings will only stop when everyone has a plethora of firearms, plenty of ammunition and their fat little twitchy digits on the trigger.”

“So you can stop calling me Shooty McShootface, Shitty shitty bang bang, or telling people I’ve got Gunorrhoea.”

The NRA has also been dealt a blow with Donald Trump reportedly considering  a “cooling off period” for people looking like Jack Nicholson in “The Shining” buying a machine gun.  However Mr Trump has played down such reports.

“Believe me, we won’t do anything without running it by Shooty first.” He explained.

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