Trump threatens North Korea with Fire and Phooey

China has appealed for calm this morning as US President Donald Trump has threatened to match any North Korean aggression with fire and Hong Kong Phooey.

Overweight maniacal despot with nuclear weapons threatens Kim Jong-Un

North Korean President Kim Jong-un has appealed for United Nations support in dealing with a rogue overweight despot who terrifyingly now has access to nuclear weapons. 

Brexiters celebrate British independence by dousing chickens in toilet duck

Brexit supporters throughout the country have been celebrating British Independence by dousing their chickens in toilet duck, thought to be a prerequisite of any trade deal with America. 

Trump to impose travel ban on short people

US president Donald Trump is to impose a ban on short people entering the country unless they have bona fide business there.

“Now not the time for independence vote” Theresa May tells America

Theresa May has rejected calls for the USA to hold a referendum regarding independence from Britain today saying “now is not the time.”

Trump to ban immigration from Skull island

President Trump has today signed a new executive order placing a 90-day ban on people from Skull island just in case one of them is a forty-foot high monkey.

Hong Kong Phooey detained by US immigration

Popular 1970s crime fighter Hong Kong Phooey has reportedly been detained by US immigration as part of the latest crackdown ordered by President Donald Trump.

“I never mocked that disabled reporter” says man who mocked reporter for being disabled

Donald Trump has gone on record today to deny mocking reporter Serge Kovaleski for being disabled even though he did and it was all recorded and everybody saw it.

Trump to keep an open mind on gravity

The Donald Trump administration will keep an open mind on the concept of gravity, following concerns from the President elect that Newton’s laws may just be misinformation most likely started off by the Chinese.

“Britain will be mainly ginger if we get rid of immigrants” warns secret UKIP report

A secret UKIP report has questioned the party’s policy on lowering immigration warning that it could mean an unsustainable rise in ginger haired people.