Brexiters celebrate British independence by dousing chickens in toilet duck

Brexit supporters throughout the country have been celebrating British Independence by dousing their chickens in toilet duck, thought to be a prerequisite of any trade deal with America. 

Public warned not to approach rapidly inflating Liam Fox

The British public have been warned not to approach a rapidly expanding Liam Fox who reportedly began inflating at an alarming rate following a talk at a Conservative party dinner yesterday.