Public warned not to approach rapidly inflating Liam Fox

The British public have been warned not to approach a rapidly expanding Liam Fox who reportedly began inflating at an alarming rate following a talk at a Conservative party dinner yesterday.

Eric Pickles appeals to public to stop parking cars up his arse

Secretary of State for Communities and Local Government Eric Pickles has made a heart felt plea to the British public to desist from the recent trend of attempting to park their cars up his arse. One motorist who had just recently removed his Citroen Berlingo from Mr Pickles’ sphincter told us “It’s difficult to know […]

Ed Miliband to ban multiple votes for northerners

Ed Miliband has pledged today to finally end the practice of individuals having extra votes on Labour party matters simply due to coming from the Northern half of England. At present every Labour party member is entitled to one vote. However if he lives or comes from anywhere between Derby and Carlisle he will be […]

Local authorities demand more taxes to wank into a bucket

Councils throughout Britain are demanding more taxes to wank into a bucket as little is left in the coffers for basic services after the majority of local authority income has been wanked into a bucket. The move will hit households on low incomes, particularly since Iain Duncan Smith has decided that poor people don’t actually […]