Are you over 50? Do you live alone? Do your family live a long way away? If so do you own a Michael Parkinson? If not would you like one? If you already own one, would you like to own another one? Well now you can as you may well be entitled to a free Michael Parkinson. It’s hard to believe. But could be true and it could happen sooner than you think!
In order to claim your absolutely free and without obligation Michael Parkinson* simply click on the above picture of Michael and leave credit card details when requested. But you must act now. This might well be your last chance. And lets face it. None of us are getting any younger.
Perhaps you are reticent after ordering a Thora Hird that was sadly lost in the post. But the best thing to do after you fall off a bike is to get right back on it. In any event don’t take our word for it. Listen to some of our valued customers
“I feel relieved now I’ve applied for a Michael Parkinson. I now have peace of mind and there’s a weight lifted off my shoulders not having to worry about it. ” Mrs S (Parkhurst)
“I haven’t told my family as advised by the nice man on the phone. But if I did I’m sure they would think it’s a good idea too.” Mrs S (Parkhurst)
* Ground rent and service charges may apply. We may pass your details on to companies that sell dodgy Life assurance, stair lifts and adjustable beds as well as making appointments for their salesmen to visit you, and instructing Michael Parkinson to let them into your house. We reserve the right to replace your Michael Parkinson with a June Whitfield, a Lionel Blair or a Ronnie Corbett at the company’s discretion.
News Toad 
I made the mistake of ordering the much cheaper Russell Harty model. He was a well-behaved and erudite companion for the most part but our Saturday evenings became blighted by the appearance on our doorstep of Grace Jones who demanded to be allowed to come in and hit him. Still you don’t like to grumble do you?