The British public have been warned not to approach a rapidly expanding Liam Fox who reportedly began inflating at an alarming rate following a talk at a Conservative party dinner yesterday.
One onlooker told us “The Trade secretary explained that British business was fat and bloated and as if to prove a point began rapidly inflating like a balloon or even a bouncy castle. It’s not an uncommon occurrence at Tory party meetings but this was just ridiculous.”
The alarm was reportedly raised following observations of Mr Fox who was sitting next to former Cabinet Minister Eric Pickles.
“He was initially much smaller than Pickles, then suddenly the same size and suddenly he dwarfed Pickles like the sun next to a small planet. We knew either Fox had become a lot bigger or Pickles had become a lot smaller.” Another observer explained.
Television Doctor Chris Steele explained that sudden inflation experienced by Tory Grandees was a common affliction sometimes due to being puffed up with their own self-importance , sometimes due to being force-fed their own corporate ideologies, and sometimes from gorging on fois gras whilst criticising poor people.
“He’ll be back to normal in no time. Or maybe he won’t. In all honesty I don’t actually know.”