Celebrities protest against something or other

damon albarn protests

Companies and/or Governments who have been up to something or other have today been discussing whether or not they should continue with what they’re doing after revelations that some of the inevitable public protests may include celebrities.  The added factor that some protesters may also be actors, singers or clothes designers has put things in a whole new light.

One celebrity told us “I’m on the television a lot and that makes my opinion worth the same as several hundred normal people. So I’m going to wave a placard around for half an hour.  Then I’m off to advertise butter or something.”

However, it is unlikely that the thing that they were protesting against will be stopped as apparently some other celebrities were protesting at the same time for it to continue. At one protest we attended both sides were counting their celebrities and giving them a score out of 10. One official told us   “We’ll need to work out who’s more famous and up to the minute. Then we can work out whether each side needs to carry on doing what they’re doing or jolly well put a stop to it.”

A spokesman for the National Association of Companies that Force Feed Animals through a Funnel and then make them Build a High Speed Rail Route Stopping on the way to do a bit of Fracking (NACFFATFTMTBHSRSTTBF)  told us that they would from now on only be listening to protest organisations who could beat them in a game of celebrity endorsement trumps. “We’ve got Jim Davidson and Anne Widdecombe sponsoring our cause so the do-gooders are going to have to come up with some big guns to stop us doing our evil deeds.  Obviously if it’s someone big like Bono or Keith Chegwin then we’re going to pack the whole thing in, shun corporate life and live the rest of our lives simply and organically in a teepee.”

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