Britain “tricked into making passports colour of the EU flag”

Former UKIP leader Nigel Farage has lambasted the EU today for tricking Britain into changing its passport colour to blue like the EU flag.

“It’s time to get back to basics. We have red phone boxes, red fire engines and up until recently red passports. Red is a proper British colour. But someone in Europe has tricked us into making passports blue so whenever anyone goes abroad they basically have to wave a mini-EU flag when they go through customs.  I don’t know who it was, but they fooled everyone. I even thought it was a good idea myself at the time. We’ve been hoodwinked.” He explained.

Mr Farage has been battling the European Union over the last few years, largely by taking a wage from the European parliament and a generous pension but refusing to turn up for work or represent British constituents in any way.

“And there’s no plans to turn post boxes back to red again if somehow we get tricked into painting them blue as well. Theresa May couldn’t run a piss up in a brewery.” He added.

Indeed the thought of things being the wrong colour has sparked protests throughout the country, particularly amongst Daily Mail readers.

“I haven’t got a passport but if I get one I want it changed back to blue and then back to red there and then. I don’t understand why they have to have all these meetings before anything gets done. And whatever it costs we’re not paying it.” One protester told us.

President of the European commission Jean Claude-Juncker has denied any involvement in the new pro-Europe  blue passport.

“Any laughing at your passports when you come through our borders will be entirely coincidental. As will any unnecessary cavity searches.” He confirmed.