The Daily Mail appointed Work and Pensions Secretary

Prime Minister Theresa May has today defended her decision to award the position of Work and Pensions Secretary to the Daily Mail newspaper.

It’s thought to be the first time that a cabinet position has been granted to an un-elected newspaper but with its track record for engendering resentment across middle England against poor and disabled people whilst its owner avoids paying any tax, the appointment has been widely applauded amongst the party faithful.

One senior cabinet member said “It’s certainly a bit odd having a newspaper sitting opposite instead of a person. But it seems absolutely intent on blaming banking crises on the disabled, lack of healthcare funding on immigrants, and whipping up members of the public who would be most adversely affected by Brexit into a puritanical pro-brexit frenzy. So it fits right in.”

The shock appointment was predicted to be unpopular with millions who have a Daily Mail subscription who might lose out with their beloved tabloid instead attending Cabinet meetings instead of popping through their letter boxes. However a hastily prepared contingency plan has proved popular with its readership.

“Esther McVey came round for a chat instead. She sat in my living room and blamed all my personal problems on a bloke up the road in a wheelchair. And she told me he might be foreign. It was brilliant. Like one of those talking books.” One Daily Mail reader explained.