Hunt “Doctors must be able to fly”

Doctors are to be required to be able to soar through the air like a bird following a new directive from Secretary of State for Health, Jeremy Fucking Hunt

“No cure for Hunt” warn Doctors

Modern medicine as we know it has been infected by a severe case of Jeremy Fucking Hunt which is proving resistant to all known treatments Doctors have warned today.

Jeremy Hunt to stand for labour leadership

Jeremy Hunt has announced that he will throw his hat into the ring to challenge Jeremy Corbyn in the forthcoming leadership contest.

Jeremy Hunt to go on strike

Secretary of State for Health Jeremy Hunt is set to go on strike imminently having balloted himself earlier on today.

Jeremy Hunt enjoying well deserved week-end off

Health Secretary Jeremy fucking Hunt is enjoying a well deserved week-end off after a tough week imposing non-evidence based legislation on an already over stretched medical profession. The Monday to Friday stint included part of  a long battle to win the hearts and minds of the medical profession by completely ignoring them, a tactic which […]

Acupuncturists cover NHS strike

Health Secretary Jeremy Hunt has extended his most heartfelt gratitude to acupuncturists who stepped up to the mark to stick pins in patients affected by today’s Junior Doctors’ strike. Speaking from outside St Mary’s hospital Paddington Mr Hunt said “We’ve been short of Doctors today, but luckily if you stick pins in people it’s better […]

Jeremy Hunt “Parents to perform appendectomies”

Parents should routinely perform appendectomies on their children, elderly relatives and indeed themselves rather than stretching valuable NHS resources according to the Secretary of State for Health Jeremy fucking Hunt. Speaking to the cast of Holby City Mr Hunt said “Doctors are all a bit 1990s and people simply don’t need someone fannying about with a […]

Hunt “No GP call outs for monkeys jumping on the bed”

Health Secretary Jeremy Hunt has vowed today to press on with cuts to the NHS that would virtually eliminate funds for GPs to carry out home visits where they strongly advise monkeys to desist from jumping on the bed. Speaking on the Marr show, Mr Hunt said “Obviously we expect Doctors to turn up at […]

Pub beer gardens to ban farting

Farting is set to be banned in pub beer gardens following a report released today by the Royal Society for Public Health who said that the practise should be seen as “abnormal” and more controls are needed to cover areas where people gather. Health Secretary Jeremy Hunt said that regrettably despite Government intervention, people were […]

New cabinet thinly veiled front for Dalek invasion

David Cameron’s new cabinet is merely a front for a Dalek invasion designed to destroy the word and everything in it according to according to former Doctor Who Christopher Eccleston. Speaking to John Humphreys on his Today Programme Mr Eccleston said “You don’t get to be Doctor Who for a whole series without noticing when […]