Health Secretary Jeremy Hunt has extended his most heartfelt gratitude to acupuncturists who stepped up to the mark to stick pins in patients affected by today’s Junior Doctors’ strike.
Speaking from outside St Mary’s hospital Paddington Mr Hunt said “We’ve been short of Doctors today, but luckily if you stick pins in people it’s better than nasty medicines because it improves the flow of chi. And it’s all true because I know someone who was ill and had acupuncture and got better.
“We phoned a few acupuncturists this morning and asked if they’d cover at short notice, in return for the week-end allowance that we’re taking off Junior Doctors.
“Within the hour, you simply couldn’t move for pins. Every patient, most visitors and half the remaining staff had at least a few stuck in them. Whatever you think about acupuncture, someone somewhere is bound to have got better.”
A spokesman for the British acupuncture council confirmed that its members would be happy to impale people with pins in the event of any future strike.
“Mind you it’s not just a case of randomly sticking numerous pins into people. We give questionable dietary advice as well.” He explained.