Professor Stephen Hawking has blamed a fault in the software on his voice simulator after he appeared to refer to the Secretary of State for Health as Jeremy Cunt.
In his trademark computerised american accent Professor Hawking said “I’d like to apologise to Mr Cunt. Sadly my voice synthesizer appears to have a glitch whereby whenever I try to write an H it says C. It does appear to be intermittent. I can ramble on about horses, hiccups and helicopters to my heart’s content and it’s fine and then it just seems to go wrong at the most inopportune times. So when I appeared to call Jeremy Cunt a cunt it was a fault in the system and I was actually addressing him as Jeremy Cunt.”
“Sorry I meant Cunt.” He added.
A spokesman for Speech Plus who manufacture and service Professor Hawking’s device said “We apologise profusely for any offence that may have been caused to the Health Secretary by one of our machines calling him Jeremy Cunt even if he is a cunt. It must have caused terrible embarrassment to Professor Hawking as well though he’s been remarkably good about it.”
“If I get Tony Hadley’s name wrong or Tom Hardy I apologise. Or Jeremy Cunt.” Professor Hawking told us.
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