“Many people have impurities in their arses” David Wolfe warns

Much of the western world is suffering with impurities in their arses, caused by modern living and conventional science, according to alternative medicine advocate David Wolfe.

Speaking via his Facebook page Mr Wolfe said “You can check your own arse for impurities by dangling a crystal on a string in front of it, preferably in front of a full length mirror in order to see the results. Basically if it keeps on swinging you’ve got toxins. And it’s a time bomb waiting to explode.

“Natural methods of detoxification such as having a poo or owning a liver are being relentlessly pushed by pharmaceutical companies.

“Your best bet would be to book a colonic irrigation session, preferably performed by someone with no medical qualifications but who wears a white coat. Ideally with some sort of whale music playing in the background. These can all be booked via my website.

“Alternatively you can reduce toxins in your arse by eating buttercups. It’s an ancient natural cure, they don’t want you to know about it.”

Mr Wolfe has a huge online following in part due to his advocacy of a raw food diet. “It’s only big pharma and governments in the pockets of corporations that say you have to cook chicken.” He explained.