“We give you independence and look what you do with it” Uk tells USA

Britain would be reticent to offer the USA independence if it asked for it again  according to Government sources.

As part of the UK’s annual independence day address to the former colony, Prime Minister Theresa May said “We give you independence and all you do is shoot each other and vote in a fascist junta led by a president with a penchant for groping women. You’re going to have to have a long hard think about how you might have done that a bit better.”

The Prime Minister cited isolationism and xenophobia as key issues for the US Presidency to address should the situation arise that they need independence from the UK again.

“Ok, we’ve voted for Brexit on the same basis and now the United Kingdom is falling apart. But there’s absolutely no need for America to bring themselves down to our level.” She explained.

However a less than contrite US President Donald Trump who is due to visit the UK next week has ruled out any discussion should the US require independence again in the future.

“The only thing that separates our nations is the Atlantic ocean. It is a failed ocean. It needs to concentrate more on covering approximately 20 percent of the Earth’s surface, and being the second largest ocean basin in the world, following only the Pacific and less on providing a platform for boat assisted migration.” He explained.