Trump “London protesters begged me to come to UK”

Trump UK visit

A group of several hundred thousand protesters thought to be protesting against Donald Trump’s forthcoming UK visit are actually pro-Trump and begged him to come according to a statement issued by the US president this morning.

Speaking via Twitter Mr Trump said “No President in the history of the United States has been begged so much to come to the United Kingdom by so many fawning deferential people. It’s true. Now fake news is trying to say they don’t even want me to come. Sad!”

Trump Spokeswoman Sarah Huckabee Saunders said “We know British fake news will be reporting on a mass assembly of people of the like not seen since the one preceding the Iraq war with people incensed against Trump’s war against freedom of the press, active racism, misogyny and collusion with Russia in order to rig his own presidency.  Should this occur these will just be your facts.

“Our facts on the other hand report millions of stereotypical 1950s British people with Dick Van Dyke accents celebrating the President’s arrival by singing supercalifragilisticexpealidocious even though it hasn’t happened yet. But its all written up. You can read it. And I know I’d rather trust our facts than a report that doesn’t even arrive until after the event itself.”

It’s thought that despite the unprecedented welcoming committee in central London, Mr Trump will actually be whisked from destination to destination by helicopter and will be unlikely to meet any of his fans. “I don’t think I could take that much adulation. It might give me a big head. I like to keep my feet on the ground.” He tweeted.

 

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