Trump defends sharing Skrewdriver tracks on Twitter

Donald Trump has reacted furiously this morning to suggestions by UK Prime Minister Theresa May that he should not share tracks by far right 1970s rockers Skrewdriver on social media.

Trump issues ultimatum to elephants

Donald Trump has issued an ultimatum to all elephants to cease and desist having big ears and a long trunk as tensions grow between the president and various factions of the animal kingdom

You can only be sexually inappropriate if you’re really the President Spacey told

Actor Kevin Spacey has been told that his House of Cards career may now be over following allegations of inappropriate sexual behaviour because he is not really the US President. A furious Donald Trump said that America would have a zero tolerance policy on such behaviour in the fictional political sphere if not the real […]

Trump condemns “failing intelligence test” after achieving 85 IQ

US president Donald Trump has condemned the IQ test as a “failing examination” following reports that he achieved a score of 85.

Trump state visit downgraded to “One cup of tea then you fuck off”

Donald Trump’s forthcoming state visit to Britain has been downgraded to “One cup of tea then you fuck off” according to Government insiders.

Theresa May “I’ll almost certainly still be in office by Christmas”

Theresa May will still be Prime Minister by Christmas and may even remain in power for longer than Donald Trump according to party insiders.

Trump “Sunny days to blame for devastation too”

Nice weather and sunny days must take their share of the blame for devastation across America caused by “many types of weather” according to US president Donald Trump.

Trump administration urges Britons to use shorter sentences on state visit

A spokesman for the White House has confirmed that they have asked all UK citizens to speak in very short sentences ahead of President Trump’s state visit to Britain in October.

Trump to travel in a giant golden penis on UK state visit

Donald Trump is to travel down the Mall to meet the Queen in a giant golden penis after an aide mistakenly requested a golden under-carriage for the procession.

Elephants listening in on Donald Trump with their huge flappy ears

Elephants have been listening in on Donald Trump with their huge flappy ears and most likely handing the information to Barack Obama, the media or British Intelligence, according to tweets published by Mr Trump earlier this morning.