African people to pay Bono’s tax bill

Grateful people from Africa are to pay Bono’s tax bill as plans to hold a benefit concert for him in Nairobi are underway.

Gary Barlow “I taught the Queen everything she knows about tax evasion”

Take That front man Gary Barlow has admitted giving Her Royal Highness the Queen tips on tax evasion over several visits to the Palace where the pair talked about their immense fortunes and ate roast swan. 

Rolf Harris confirmed as Strictly contestant

Rolf Harris has confirmed that he will be entering Strictly Come Dancing as a contestant for the forthcoming 2017 competition. 

Trump to travel in a giant golden penis on UK state visit

Donald Trump is to travel down the Mall to meet the Queen in a giant golden penis after an aide mistakenly requested a golden under-carriage for the procession.

Queen to offer Trump British delicacy of Dog Eggs on state visit

President Trump will be invited to Buckingham Palace to savour the exquisite British dish of dog eggs when he arrives on his state visit according to sources close to the Queen.

“Yes we are controlled by secret lizard people” admits May

David Icke is right and MPs are under the direct control of lizard people, Prime Minister Theresa May has admitted today.

Grovelling British subjects thank the Queen for letting them pay for her party and no bank holiday

Grovelling British subjects throughout Britain have come together to thank her Royal Highness for having a party at their expense without actually being invited themselves and no sodding bank holiday.

Cameron “Nigeria has the wrong sort of corruption”

Nigeria needs to get it’s act together and start laundering money through entrenched state endorsed fiscal hypocrisy like Britain, if it wants to be taken seriously on the world stage, according to Prime Minister David Cameron.

Queen to support ‘out’ campaign

The ‘Brexit’ campaign has gained momentum this morning following the news that it has a staunch supporter and campaigner in Her Majesty the Queen. In a rare statement to the press, her Majesty said “People are coming over here just for the benefits. They think we’re a soft touch and they’re probably right. For example […]

Cameron “Britain must sell its own Grandmothers”

Britain must sell its own Grandmothers to whichever corporation either offers the best price or has Tory party donors on its board of directors according to Prime Minister David Cameron. Speaking at an event celebrating 800 years of the Magna Carta the Prime Minister explained that whilst such a policy was not proposed in 1215, […]