The Queen “If Labour get in I’ll leave the country”

Her Majesty the Queen has said in no uncertain terms today that she will move abroad if Labour get into power following the forthcoming General Election in May. In a move that will only amplify the despair of the nation and Ed Miliband’s woes she has added her name to a list of potential ex-pats […]

Aussie women vote Prince Philip “Sexiest man of the year”

The results are in: Prince Phillip, Duke of Edinburgh may be known for his sexist gaffes but it seems the women of Australia are more interested in what the ageing Prince has in his trousers, voting him Sexiest Man of the Year 2015. In a double-win for the geriatric Duke, the results were published only days […]

Salmond “We’ll keep the pound even if it means joining the United Kingdom”

Scotland’s First Minister Alex Salmond has said that Scotland will keep the pound even if it means joining the United Kingdom to do it. Speaking at a packed press conference Mr Salmond explained “It is Scotland’s pound. It doesn’t belong to George Osborne, it doesn’t belong to Ed Balls. It’s ours and we are keeping […]

“You can all come and stay at my house” Queen tells evictees

People living in properties owned by the Crown who have been campaigning against being evicted from their homes have been  told today that they will all be able to shack up at Buckingham Palace at least until they sort themselves out with somewhere else to live. The Crown Estate has confirmed it is proposing the sale […]

Queen disappointed that Irish Prime Minister not Bono

The Queen is said by Royal sources to be ‘deeply disappointed’ that the President of Ireland who arrived today for a state visit is not actually Bono out of 1980s rock band U2. A palace insider told us “It was just a shock for her. Every time she turned on the TV that Bono was […]