“You can all come and stay at my house” Queen tells evictees

queen in pub

People living in properties owned by the Crown who have been campaigning against being evicted from their homes have been  told today that they will all be able to shack up at Buckingham Palace at least until they sort themselves out with somewhere else to live. The Crown Estate has confirmed it is proposing the sale of about 200 of its 750 rural homes in the UK but has also confirmed it will be dishing out front door keys to Buckingham palace to all those affected on a “temporary basis but no rush”.

In a rare statement from the Queen herself, her Majesty explained “We’re throwing out about 200 families. It shouldn’t be a problem though as one is pretty sure one has 200 spare rooms at Buckingham Palace if people don’t mind sharing. Otherwise we’ll just stick a few in Windsor castle and a few more in Balmoral. One is really looking forward to it. It’ll be just like a hippie commune.

“At the Palace we normally dine on swan but one realises that that may not be to everyone’s taste. Consequently one has ordered a huge shipment of pop tarts which I understand you people generally eat.

“After dinner one normally likes to play charades or shoot deer. But one realises you common people like to have singing competitions and be chastised for it so Charles, Philip and I will be sitting behind a table criticising you while you queue up and sing.

“You didn’t think one one would be just turfing people out onto the street did you? That would be simply awful behaviour and would make one seem terribly out of touch wouldn’t it? No it’s definitely all back to mine.” she added.

One soon to be evictee told us “She’s marvellous isn’t she? I’ll definitely be voting for her again when her terms up.”

 

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