Kelly Hoppen is to forego the formality of deciding whether to invest in new businesses on TVs Dragons Den and simply talk about herself according to Kelly Hoppen whilst talking about herself on a recent episode of TVs Dragons Den.
Speaking to a man pitching for a computer games business, Ms Hoppen explained “I get up early in the morning and then I have a healthy breakfast of granola. Then I wash and shower in purely organic ingredients and as soon as I have dressed myself in clothes made from natural ingredients, I make my way to work whilst endeavouring to not only reduce my carbon footprint but to make it clear to anyone that I meet that I have travelled to work in a more ethical fashion than them. Since your business idea says nothing about me being kind to dolphins then I’m afraid, I’m out.”
A spokesman for BBC2 confirmed that Ms Hoppen had only agreed to join Dragons Den on the condition that eventually the show would be solely about her. “We’re very much aware that viewers are being distracted from Ms Hoppen’s rambling and self indulgent tales about herself by ridiculous people touting their stupid business ideas, and indeed the other Dragons also talking about other things apart from Ms Hoppen. So we’re just going to sit her in a chair a bit like Ronnie Corbett and give her full air time.”
“I’ll be investing in myself.” Ms Hoppen added.
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