Jeremy Hunt “Just send your Doctor a selfie”

jeremy fucking hunt

Secretary of State for Health Jeremy Hunt has told patients that rather than attend surgeries or hospitals they should merely obtain their GPs mobile phone number and send them a selfie. Speaking on the Marr show this morning Mr Hunt explained:

“I’m not a Doctor but I saw one recently and I used to regularly watch Dr Kildare on TV so I think I know my stuff. All Doctors do is ask you to stick your tongue out and say ahh. There’s no reason why they can’t just stick their tongues out, do a selfie and send it to their GP. Their Doctor can then get back to them if he or she feels they’ve got rickets or the floobydoobies. It’s fool proof.

“It’s also quite clear that whilst analysing selfies, GPs are doing nothing with their legs. So it makes sense that they perform their virtual consultations on an electricity producing exercise bike which should cut down on a few utility bills to boot.

“Some Doctors may of course feel that it is inappropriate to have to give their personal mobile phone numbers out to their patients and we will respect that. As long as they are happy to be friends with their entire list of patients on facebook. That way other patients can ‘like’ any diagnosis they make. It makes the whole process far more accountable.”

Mr Hunt has conceded that there is sometimes more to a GPs consultation than asking patients to stick their tongues out and say ahh and would be putting measures into place to take this into account.

“Sometimes Doctors just say “Oh dear” when patients explain their symptoms. So we’ll be providing a 3 day training course for staff to learn to say “oh dear” in an authoritative manner. If patients can phone someone up to say “Oh dear” to them then that should ease the pressure on hospitals.” he explained.

“Or you could just go private like normal people” he added.

 

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