“Just climb over the wall” say Glastonbury organisers

Would be Glastonbury festival revellers who have been disappointed at not being able to buy a ticket for £205 plus booking fee may have a second chance to attend as organisers have issued the following statement “Don’t worry about tickets. Just climb over the wall”.

In the past organisers have defended the ticket price saying that without sufficient funding they would no longer be able to attract headline acts such as Bernie Winters and Schnorbitz, Chesney Hawkes and Brian Cant. However, the rapidly altering clientele has seen people reserving plots, building fences around them and more recently having houses built on them. And then shutting the curtains and not seeing any of the bands”

Land owner Michael Eavis has said that while he has enjoyed being rich beyond his wildest dreams, the festival has suffered since people stopped trying to bunk in.  “The whole things turned into a giant outdoor oxford university halls of residence. The trouble with young people today is they’re just not sneaky enough. It’s not hard to make a rudimentary rope ladder with a grappling hook. I do wish people would show some initiative”.

Socialist songsmith Billy Bragg who is one of the headlining acts told us  “I’m all for representing working class people. Working class people that can afford £205 plus booking fee for a ticket, plus spending money. So well off working class people really. With posh accents. It’s a class war don’t you know. Erm… cor blimey guvnor”.

Mr Eavis has also appealed for former festival goers to again don their nose rings and use their experience to help novice ravers to scale the wall. “It is your duty to give something back. Please bunk in”.