Abu Qatada to enjoy the same rights as ZZ Top

abu qatada

In yet another setback to the Government’s attempts to extradite beard sporting extremist Abu Qatada, the Court of Appeal has today refused the Government permission to take its fight to the supreme court, concluding that he must be treated in exactly the same way as hairy American rockers ZZ Top. Citing reasons that the Jordanian Government are unlikely to respect his rights to release a string of rock and roll hits in the 1980’s, the court issued the following statement.

“Abu Qatada has been duly punished for his hate crimes in Britain, and though he’s still not sorry for them, everyone deserves another chance. It is clear that his public unpopularity is simply due to the length of his beard. We have evidence to show that Mr Qatada has been the victim of beardism and beard hate crimes since he was a child, which more than makes up for his bomb inciting activities. We are hereby ruling that Mr Qatada should be free to sip Jack Daniels, sit on the back of pick up trucks, strum guitars and sing songs about ladies legs”.

Frank Beard from ZZ Topp welcomed the court ruling. “He’s got a beard and I haven’t but my names Frank Beard.” He explained before adding “And to be fair, who amongst us hasn’t moved to a foreign country and incited terrorism to ensure that the entire legal system changes to sharia law? We know we have”.

Home Secretary Theresa May told us “We are fundamentally opposed to this and the government will fight this every step of the way. If there really is no other option, we may be willing to offer him the same rights as Rolf Harris”.

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