The news 'they' don't want you to hear. Because it isn't true.
Post boxes are going to have to stop wearing Burkas and start dressing like everybody else according to leaked minutes of a recent Government meeting. One Government insider told us “They don’t make any effort to fit in. They’re just all clad in red apart from the small rectangular gap at the top through […]
Grass roots conservative campaigners have hailed the Government’s announcement to bring back National service as a victory for common sense, one that will finally herald a welcome return to how things used to be. The news comes after the Conservatives failed to pass a law to “String them all up” blaming meddling from Europe and […]
Conservative voters are looking forward to the next 5 years of a Conservative Government, confident that they themselves will never get ill and as a result won’t be affected by the inevitable demise of the NHS. One voter we spoke to trying to get a last GP check up in told us “I don’t want […]
The Government have announced plans to launch an inquiry into all Government inquiries in an effort to ascertain why all recent inquiries, especially ones regarding possible criminality of politicians, never seem to end or if they do never come to any logical conclusion. A spokesman for the new inquiry said “All inquiries such as Parliamentary […]
Police officers will be expected to top up their wages with bribes for ‘drawing a blind eye’, according to Home Secretary Theresa May, as the Government announce plans to reduce the starting salary of a Police Constable by 20%. Speaking at press conference this morning, the Home Secretary told us “On a recent trip to […]
The Government is set to have more women to brighten the place up a bit, according to Prime Minister David Cameron. Speaking on the Marr show the premier explained “We’ve been under fire for not having enough women in cabinet. And that’s obviously because we discuss politics and important men’s business. But if we’re being […]
Britain has been described as being in a perpetual state of celebration today as the New Years Honours list has made everybody a Lord. Prime Minister David Cameron heralded the scheme as a victory for common sense, and one in the eye for all naysayers. “It’s all been a bit difficult. We want to combine […]
A Government think tank has today called for talks regarding individualised styles of mild violence against particular animals. Speaking at a packed press conference the Prime Minister explained “We’re not going to be pushing for an immediate and outright ban. We’re merely saying if anyone has a pet monkey then they shouldn’t be spanking it […]
The Government have today been accused today of pandering to the wishes of hard working people. Speaking at a press conference this morning shouty number cruncher Eddie Balls warned that hard working people would not longer be able to expect an easy ride under a Labour administration. “First it was the bankers, then politicians, now […]
A new privatised Royal Mail will be ditching the traditional concept of a business that delivers letters and parcels to instead focus on the Royal Mail brand. Hordes of marketing executives are set to meet up and quaff champagne and nose candy whilst they decide whether the new RM™ is going to involve a big R […]
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