Post boxes are going to have to stop wearing Burkas and start dressing like everybody else according to leaked minutes of a recent Government meeting.
One Government insider told us “They don’t make any effort to fit in. They’re just all clad in red apart from the small rectangular gap at the top through which assumedly they see out of and we post letters through. I’ve always found post boxes unnerving. You can’t see their eyes let alone their facial expressions and so you just don’t know what they’re thinking.”
“There’s nothing in any Royal Mail documents that says a post box shouldn’t show its face. It’s just fundamentalist sections of the postal system that just refuse to assimilate.”
Speaking on the Andrew Marr show, Tommy Robinson formerly of the English Defence league said “It is simply untrue that I was the leader of an anti-post box organisation. There might have been a few members who disagreed with the general attire of a post box but there might also be a few of our members that hate spinach, and nobody accuses us of being an anti-spinach organisation. In actual fact everyone in my organisation is lovely, and some of our most loyal members are post boxes.”
A spokesman for the Royal Mail explained that recent prejudice has been rife, not least in more affluent areas of the country. “A lot of middle England are prone to walking down the street very quickly, pretending not to see post boxes and then making excuses that they just prefer to send an email. They don’t really. They’re just being racist.”