Theresa May “Police must top up their wages with bribes”

Police officers will be expected to top up their wages with bribes for ‘drawing a blind eye’, according to Home Secretary Theresa May, as the Government announce plans to reduce the starting salary of a Police Constable by 20%. Speaking at press conference this morning, the Home Secretary told us “On a recent trip to […]

Police fail to intervene as Prince Andrew eaten by bears

Armed Officers working within the grounds of Buckingham Palace have been slammed for failing to intervene as Prince Andrew was yesterday attacked, mauled and finally eaten by a pack of marauding bears according to Royal sources. The news is the latest in a catalogue of incidents which arose as tax payer funded police  failed to […]

Theresa May “All Private investigators must have a theme tune”

All private investigators will be required to work with a signature theme tune in the background according to new legislation announced this morning by Home Secretary Theresa May. “We’ve had a number of complaints of Private Investigators to being up to all sorts. So it’s quite clear they need to have a theme tune playing […]

Protest group made up entirely of undercover officers

The Metropolitan Police has been in the spotlight again as it transpires the notorious ‘Animal but not fish protection league’ which terrorised companies involved in the cooking, experimenting on and taking the piss out of animals but not fish, was in fact made up entirely of undercover police officers. The undercover operation, the cost of […]