Blair “Why did no-one tell me the Iraq war was a bad idea?”

The public must shoulder their share of the blame for not warning Tony Blair that the Iraq war might be a bad idea according to the former Prime Minister.

Breaking! Tony Blair hands himself in to Police

Former Prime Minister Tony Blair has reportedly handed himself in to Paddington Green police station where he is still thought to still be helping with enquiries according to eye witnesses. Apparently telling passers by that he “just can’t do this any more” Mr Blair is thought to have arrived at Paddington Green at approximately 8am […]

Blair “I’m having a wank in a big pile of bombs”

Former Prime Minister Tony Blair is reportedly having a wank in a big pile of bombs and fast approaching his vinegar strokes. Speaking from outside one of Mr Blair’s homes, where he is reportedly locked in the khasi along with a stash of missiles, a portable TV and a multi-pack of Andrex, a close confidante […]

Blair “I might have got it wrong but at least nobody died”

Former Prime Minister Tony Blair has today admitted that perhaps going into an illegal war on false pretences, contrary to the will of the majority of the British people, in order to impress an unintelligent American who was trying to please his dad, wasn’t one of his smartest moves but has also said that it’s […]

Chilcott to take well earned break from enquiry

Sir John Chilcott is planning to take a year off from the enquiry he is heading into the Iraq war, according to sources close to the laid back investigator.  Having started it in 2009, Sir John has reportedly been considering widening his CV by perhaps going to work on a kibbutz or perhaps a ranch […]

“Don’t vote Corbyn” warn faceless corporations owned by private equity firms

Faceless corporations owned by private equity firms have come together as one to warn the public against voting for someone they might like, as opposed to a private sector endorsed, clinical corporate puppet worshipping at the shrine of year on year growth. A number of multinationals, speaking through the mediums of Tony Blair, Andy Burnham […]

Blair “Cameron has weapons of mass destruction”

Former Prime Minister and Labour leader Tony Blair has warned the public that they should not vote for David Cameron as he has weapons of mass destruction, that he can mobilise within 45 minutes. Addressing a heaving press conference Mr Blair said “Britain will take a lurch to the right under a conservative only Government. […]

Prince Charles’ letters reveal hatred of short people

Many of Prince Charles’ letters to the Government reveal a deep routed hatred of short people it has emerged after a ruling passed today by the supreme court means that now anyone can actually read the letters as long as they do so respectfully and promise not to laugh. One letter to the then Prime […]

Government to launch inquiry inquiry

The Government have announced plans to launch an inquiry into all Government inquiries in an effort to ascertain why all recent inquiries, especially ones regarding possible criminality of politicians, never seem to end or if they do never come to any logical conclusion. A spokesman for the new inquiry said “All inquiries such as Parliamentary […]

Blair “Labour should be right wing and start wars”

Former Prime Minister Tony Blair has told Labour Party MPs that they must become a right wing party and promise to start a few wars in order to be successful in this year’s general election. “Labour need to go far more towards the right. In fact more right than the conservative party. That’ll confuse them. […]